Posted in CGGS Newsletter 24 - 22 August 2008

CYBER BULLYING

Our last Newsletter submission focused on Relational Aggression, the type of bullying most often used by girls in their relationships with one another. This week we would like to look more closely at the issue of Cyber Bullying and the online behaviour of teenagers.

Definition: Cyber bullying is the use of electronic information and communication devices such as

e-mail, chat rooms, text, blogs, mobile phones, pagers and websites to bully or otherwise harass an individual or group through personal attacks or other means. It may constitute a computer crime.

Incidence: In a study of 120 Queensland Year 8 students over a quarter said they knew someone who had been bullied by technology, whilst a British study found that one in four children reported being bullied online or by mobile phone. Other studies conducted in the US, the UK and Australia have found lower rates of reported bullying ranging from 7% to 14%, with most targets reporting texting as the main form of bullying followed by chat rooms and then email.

With the number of adolescents who have access to internet and mobile phones expected to rise to over one million, it is reasonable to predict that the number of incidents of cyber bullying will rise also. Over half the students in a Brisbane study reported that they thought cyber bullying was increasing. Finally, in the case of cyber bullying it seems that girls could be more involved than boys, as they are more likely to communicate regularly by email and texting.

Issues Unique to Cyber Bullying: When considering the impact and experience of bullying behaviour there are a number of features particular to cyber bullying that are worthy of special consideration.  Firstly in many cases it is possible to arrange the technology so that it is difficult to determine the identity of aggressors. This anonymity may also mean that individuals feel less constrained by social norms and therefore may do and say things through technology that they would not have the courage or inclination to do face to face. With cyber bullying there is also the potential for a much wider audience to be aware of the incident. For example, emails can be forwarded and websites can be created that endless numbers of people may visit. The sense of humiliation and hurt may be far more public and potentially more profound.

A further aspect of cyber bullying which sets it apart from other forms of bullying is the 24/7 nature of the means of bullying.  Access to individuals through mobile phones, texting and email is unlimited which can mean finding respite from the behaviour is difficult.  In shutting off avenues for receiving bullying messages, the individual is also having to shut down avenues for communicating and staying connected generally. Finally, electronic forums often lack supervision as messages sent between users are only viewable by the sender and recipient.  Increasingly, computers and phones are placed and used in private environments such as adolescent’s bedrooms, where adult supervision is less likely to occur.

What Can Parents Do?

• Become aware and educated about cyber bullying methods. Learn everything you can about information and communication technologies and how your child is using them. 
• Consider the location of information technologies in your house and whether it facilitates easy access for supervision.  The location of the computer in the house has a major impact on whether, and how well, parent’s monitor online activity. Over half of all computers are located in ‘non-social’ rooms such as bedrooms or home offices.
• Talk with your children about online behaviour and your expectations.  Discuss responsible use.  Teach them never to post or say anything that they wouldn’t want the whole world –including you – to see or read.  Create a contract or agreement with clear rules about ethical behaviour and an agreement about the consequences for breaching the contract.
• Help children to understand the power and impact of the written word, as opposed to the spoken word. Written words seem more concrete and in the case of websites, emails, texts etc the targeted students can read what has been written over and over thereby potentially compounding the distress and harm.
• Encourage your children to come to you if anybody says or does anything that makes them feel uncomfortable or threatened. Stay calm and keep the lines of communication and trust open.
• Work with your child’s school to take a consistent, clear approach to online behaviour.  Be aware of the school’s policies on bullying, cyber bullying and online behaviour. Communicate any concerns you have about online behaviour or cyber bullying, which may also be occurring at school, to staff within the school.

Sharon Prendergast and Julie Smith
Senior School Counsellors
Paula Morelli
Junior School Counsellor

Please click here to return to CGGS Newsletter 24 - 22 August 2008

Posted CGGS Newsletter 20 - 25 July 2008

Primary School Children’s Worries: Environment is Number One

You would think that the School Counsellor would have a fair idea about what it is that worries children. It is probably well known that children worry about their families, friendships, and pets.  So it was with surprise, then, that the ABC News and Current Affairs program Behind the News released the results of a national online survey (2007) which put the Environment at the top of the worry list of children in the 5 to 10 year age bracket.  Direct comments (and spelling) from children included problems such as “running out of electrisity,” “pollution and chopping down trees” and “natural disastres.”  

In another study, Mission Australia’s annual National Survey of Young Australians (2007) showed that the 11 to 14 year old age group still rated the Environment (27.8%) as third on their list of concerns, only slightly behind Body Image (30.9%) and Family Conflict (30.1%).

Further, the Environment was the top concern at the 2020 Youth Summit in April where many students put forward ideas about environmental sustainability, water issues and public transport improvements.

At the Junior School, we are fortunate to have Mrs Helen Shaw as the Environment Coordinator. Not only is she raising awareness of environmental issues, but Helen is also showing the students what can be done to address the issues in practical ways. You may already be aware that last year we reduced our land fill from 97% of the School’s total waste to only 4%!  Hats off to Helen!

We started to wonder what parents could do to help address children’s worries in this area. It seemed like a good question to put to the Junior School’s Environment Captain, Sarah Francis, and the Environment Committee, comprising Elise Coorey, Lydia Heaton and Lauren Sandeman.

Here are some ideas from the Environment Team (with a little help from Helen Shaw): 

• Be a role model.  Model the correct way to recycle.  (You may have found your children reminding YOU about what is landfill and otherwise.)
• Set up a recycling system at home.  Consider compost, worm farms and chooks.
• Have a craft time where children can make gifts for family and friends from items in their home, eg, toilet and plastic wrap rolls and packages. 
• Include children in household decisions for sustainability, eg, turning lights and taps off, water saving shower heads or getting a water tank.
• Read the water and electricity meter with the children and monitor the savings the family is making.
• Set up a vegetable garden either in garden beds or in pots.
• Purchase books to read to young children on the environment, gardening, etc.  Encourage older children to find articles in the paper about sustainability and involve them in deciding how they can help even in small ways.
• Tell the truth about the environment and ask them for their input.

Finally, discuss environmental and climate change issues as they arise in the media.  This is a fertile field at the moment with the news saturated with pieces on petrol prices, food prices, ‘resource-rich’ countries, water issues, land degradation, erosion/quake lakes caused by earthquakes and an environmental trading scheme. Discuss local issues such as kangaroo culling, emphasising both sides of the argument.  Present the facts. 

If all this seems daunting, here are some websites for ideas and help to parents keep abreast of the facts and issues:

www.acgonline.org

www.easybeinggreen.com

Or have a look at our ‘Book of the Month’ for August.  It is a Tipsheet for Parents, Talking with Children about the Environment prepared by the Australian Psychological Society (www.psychology.org.au). Copies are available just outside the Counsellor’s office from the Parent Noticeboard.  Please take one.

Not only is tackling environmental issues at home a great way to teach your children skills – problem solving, addressing complex issues, reflective and abstract thinking - but you might go some way to addressing your children’s worries as well.

Paula Morelli
School Counsellor
Junior School

Click here to return to CGGS Newsletter 20 - 25 July 2008  

Posted: CGGS Newsletter No. 8 - 28 Mar 2008

Book of the Month

REAL WIRED CHILD: What parents need to know about kids online
By Michael Carr-Gregg

 While Michael Carr Gregg discussed what to expect in early, middle and late adolescence, covered in his book, The Princess Bitchface Syndrome: Surviving adolescent girls, he had little time to cover another very important issue which he addresses in his book, Real Wired Child: What parents need to know about kids online.

In his usual well-researched style, Carr-Gregg outlines the cyberworld of our sons and daughters: who is using the internet and how much, the impacts of use, the dangers, and subsequent cybersaftey issues.  The latest ABS figures showed that in the 12 months to April 2003, 90 per cent of 14 year-olds and 21 per cent of 5 (!) year-olds accessed the internet.  These figures are, of course, already out-of-date, and would likely be higher today. 

Carr-Gregg acknowledges that for many parents there is a “digital generation gap”.  Parents’ knowledge of cyberspace varies widely, and none of us are as familiar with internet technology as our children will be.  Let’s face it - they have the advantage of an early start!  In general terms, I have often heard parents (yes, including myself) say that our children are better at sorting the video, computer, DVD, or digital camera than we are.  “I ask my 9 year-old to do that!!” is a familiar and proud refrain. 

Sadly, the dangers of the internet are multi-fold. We have all heard stories of predators on the net, but we also need to be aware of identity theft, inappropriate material, financial risks and cyberbullying. In schools we have been aware of cyberbullying for quite some time.  Students who once came to discuss friendship spats at recess and lunch are more often reporting MSN hassles that occurred outside of school, but spill into the school day. From his clinical experience, Carr-Gregg thinks that the most vulnerable age group in respect of harassment or cyberbullying, is that of early adolescence (13 – 15 year olds), and we need to be aware of this because, by and large, this group is on the internet daily.  But we also know from our experience cyberbullying can, and does, occur in younger years.

What do we know about what children and adolescents are up to on the internet and, more importantly, what do we do?  It is tempting to bury our heads in the sand and hope for the best.  But Carr-Gregg, in straightforward language, puts forward an idea for a family internet safety contract with areas to consider such as:  time limits, acknowledging the usefulness AND dangers of the net, restrictions on the provision of identifying information, prohibition on revealing details of real life activities, chatrooms, meeting people in real life, prohibition on cyberbullying, opening emails from those we don’t know, etc.  As usual, Carr-Gregg encourages us to take the (cyber) bull by the horns - and then gives us the tools to do it.

There is as much or as little information as parents need in this handy, accessible book, including resources complete with websites.  As we all know, information is power.  Information - and the power that it gives us to stay ahead of our kids – is what we need.  This book is highly recommended.

At the Junior School, Real Wired Child and The Princess Bitchface Syndrome are Books of the Month and currently reside in the Parent Notice Board folder for those who might want to browse through them at the end of the school day.

The Importance of Family Meals

A 2005 Canberra Times article entitled Kids rule in the new-look family captured some issues which have become increasingly of interest to psychologists.  At UCLA a team of twenty one researchers completed the first phase of a long-term project devoted to examining the intersection between family life and work.  In general terms they found parents and children virtually living apart at least five days a week, reuniting for a few hours at night.  ”When they are together, today’s families tend to stay in motion with lessons, classes and games.  Or they go shopping.” ¹

Psychologist, William Doherty, Director of Marriage and Family Therapy at the Department at University of Michigan, has for some time taken an interest in the changing shape of family time.  He writes: “I have a nomination for the problem of this decade: for many kids, childhood is becoming a rat race of over-scheduling, over-busyness and loss of  family time…Parents have become recreation directors on the family cruise ship.” ²

A 1998 time diary survey from the University of Michigan found that since 1981 American children had lost 12 hours per week in overall free time, experienced a 50% drop in unstructured outdoor activity and an almost  50% increase in study.  Family meal time had declined by nearly an hour a week with a number of annual surveys over three decades having found a 33% decline in families who say they eat dinner together. ^{3 4}

In his recent presentation at CGGS, Michael Carr-Gregg discussed research which indicated that the ritual of a regular family meal was significant in buffering teens against a range of mental health difficulties.

US studies have repeatedly found that regular family meal time is the strongest predictor of better achievement and fewer behavioural problems in young people. Family meals were shown to protect young people, especially girls, against depression and suicide.  Meal time appeared to be more powerful than time spent in school, studying, church, playing sports and art activities.  The statistical link persisted even when the results were adjusted to account for differences in marital status, race-ethnicity, socio-economic status and family size.

We all have a sense that rituals are an important part of family life. They increase the sense of connectedness and create cohesion, identity and belonging within a family.  The research overwhelming supports the suggestion that the shared meal is a significant ritual in the life of a family and reduces the negative effects associated with the increasingly cluttered, over-scheduled lifestyles we all lead.

These findings, whilst reflecting work conducted in the US, may well echo the experience of many Australian families.  Certainly, anecdotal evidence suggests that many parents are struggling with the challenges of balancing time as a family with the responsibilities of parenting and working.  Many young people are also trying to cope with expectations and pressure to participate, achieve and make the most of opportunities available to them.

The research suggests that important changes have occurred in the way time is used in families.  The challenge may lie in finding ways to address this changing experience, be it through examining the forces that create the over-scheduled, ‘time poor’ family in the first place, or putting in place strategies to ameliorate the negative effects.

¹Joseph Verrengia Kids rule in the New Look Family The Canberra Times, March 28, 2005

² William Doherty ‘See How They Run” in Psychotherapy Networker, September/October 2003

³ Sandra L. Hofferth, Changes in American Children’s Time, 1981-1997.  University of Michigan’s Institute for Social Research, Centre Survey, January, 1999.

⁴ Robert Putnam, Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community. New York: Simon and Schuster, 2000.

Julie Smith - Senior School Counsellor
Sharon Prendergast - Senior School Counsellor
Paula Morelli - Junior School Counsellor

Please click here to return to CGGS Newsletter No. 8 - 28 Mar 2008